The paradox of having nothing to lose and still being afraid to try
5 reasons why the people with the most freedom feel the most stuck
The bad news is, no one cares about you. The good news is, no one cares about you.
That’s the beautiful part about being a beginner. You can make something weird. You can post something cringe. You might say something completely useless. You can make mistakes, and because no one’s watching, it’s actually very liberating.
You’ve got zero audience. Zero reputation. Zero stakes. You’ve got nothing to lose.
So you should feel completely free to make what you want, post what you want, say what you want.
Instead you feel paralysed. And I think there are five reasons why.
One: the main character delusion.
You’re walking around like you’re the main character. You think everyone cares about what you’re gonna say, what you’re gonna post, what you create. In reality they’re all thinking about themselves. The moment you realize that no one is thinking about you is the day you can start being free. You can start being yourself. The fear is of looking like an idiot is real. I’m not going to pretend like I don’t care what others think. Some people might be judging you. But, who gives a fuck? Their judgment comes from a place where they’re judging themselves and projecting it onto you.
Two: the potential trap.
As long as you haven’t tried, you can still believe you’d be great. The moment you create something real, you have to confront the gap between who you imagine yourself to be and who you actually are right now. It’s almost like if you don’t try, you can live in this dream scenario of potential rather than taking the action to become what you want to become. I do this. I always put off creating videos because I’ve got this vision of myself as a great communicator, a great “YouTuber”. The moment I hit record, I have to deal with the fact that I’m not there yet.
Three: comparison.
You’re comparing your beginning to everyone else. You see the result of five to ten years of practice and experience from the people you admire and compare that against your day one. That’s the issue with social media. It has given us unlimited opportunities to build a career doing what we love, but it also bombards us with highlight reels. So, it’s easy to feel left behind when you’re going through your boring day-to-day routine and the struggle of trying to build something and all you see is other people’s end result.
Four: the identity risk.
When you share something with the world. It isn’t just sharing a piece of content. You’re saying “I made this. This is what I think is good. This is me.” and if nobody engages, if nobody even sees it, it feels like a verdict on you, not just the post. The stakes feel existential even though they don’t exist at all. You have to separate yourself from your ideas and the things you share. You are not your output. If something doesn’t land, maybe you just need to improve or learn how to get people to notice. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.
Five: productive procrastination.
You’ve been thinking about creating for so long. Researching, planning, consuming content about how to do the thing. Then the actual act of making has to carry the weight of all that buildup. The first thing you make can’t possibly satisfy years of fantasy, so you delay it another day. It has to be perfect. It has to match the vision you’ve been holding in your head. Which is insane. Nobody starts amazing. Even the ones who seem like they did probably had years of unseen experience behind it, or they deleted the evidence.
So here’s what I’m doing about it.
Starting messy. Sharing the shitty version. This video I’m making right now isn’t the most well-planned thing. I’m reading notes off screen. I’m making mistakes. I’m keeping them in. I’ve also wanted to delete all my old videos, but I think having a library of failures will be something nice to look back on, to see how far I’ve come. This could be very shit. But at least it’s finished and out in the world.
The day you realise nobody cares is the day you can finally make anything. You have nothing to lose. Zoom out. We all only have one life. Why hold back what you want to create just to satisfy a stranger on the internet, or someone close to you?
Live your life for yourself. Create for yourself. Help other people.
Stop waiting for permission you already have.
Posts that inspired this post:
Why it’s a good thing that nobody’s watching:
On starting:
On finishing:
Resources & Updates
I’m working on creating a few things right now. Videos, posters, and writing. I’m trying to talk to camera without a script. I’m putting things out before they feel ready. That’s kind of the whole point.
If you’re in the same spot, just know you’re not the only one fumbling through it. I’ll be sharing the process as openly as I can.
That’s it for today.
— Karl