this is stupid but you'll stop overthinking forever
how to stop overthinking and finally take action
I recently jumped off a bridge.
Not by choice. My sisters got me a bungee jump for my 30th birthday. I’m pretty sure they were trying to get rid of me. Jokes on them because I’m still here.
But I remember this guy in the queue ahead of me.
You could tell he was freaking out before he even got to the edge. He had this blank stare while they strapped the rope to his feet. When he finally got up to the jumping off point he grabbed onto the rail and wouldn’t let go. Which is more dangerous than if you just jump.
The instructors and everyone on the viewing platform were super supportive. Telling him to go, you’ve got this. A pretty bizarre thing to say to someone standing on a ledge. But hey, that’s what we all paid for.
The longer he stood there, the worse it got. You could see him disappearing into his own head. And I remember thinking: there is no way I’m doing that. The second they say go, I’m gone.
It helped that a little kid in front of me had just done it without blinking. So there was no way I was going to pussy out after that.
I knew it was safe but the longer I waited the more my mind started running through all the things that could go wrong.
When I got up there I was actually pretty calm. Cracking jokes with the instructors, trying to distract myself. They attached the rope to my legs. I waddled up to the ledge. I stared down at the drop. Then my mind really started screaming at me: What the f*ck are you doing.
Before I could think, the instructor counted down. Three. Two. One.
And I just fell.
Fifty meters, headfirst, towards the Waikato River. Your body has genuinely no idea what’s happening. My arms are going absolutely everywhere as I try to control myself on the way down.
Then the bungee kicks in and yanks me back up. That was actually the worst part. Because now I’m thinking oh god I have to do that again, and you can see me flailing around trying to reposition myself on the way back up.
It did nothing. Once you’re on a bungee you just have to let go. There’s nothing to control. It’s going to take you where it’s going to take you.
It was all over very quickly, thank god.
My sister met me halfway up the path afterwards. She’d done it on her 30th so this was basically payback. She had a massive grin on her face. I was expecting some joke but instead she just gave me a big hug and said, “You can do anything now.”
And she’s right. You can.
If that thing you’ve been putting off entered your mind while reading this, here’s what I’d tell you:
Get yourself on the platform. This is the hardest part and there’s no way around it. I didn’t book the bungee jump. My sisters did. They handed me a date and a time and said you’re doing this. I just had to show up. Do the same for yourself. Book the thing. Tell someone. Put money down. Take the decision off your own plate. Once you’re on the platform, it’s happening.
Borrow someone else’s perspective. Looking at that guy frozen on the edge, it was painfully obvious what he should do. Just jump. When it’s someone else’s problem, you can see the whole thing clearly. When it’s yours, you can’t. So step outside yourself for a second. What would you tell a friend in your exact situation? Now follow your own advice.
Three seconds is all you get. The countdown worked because it stopped me from thinking. Once the instructor started, I wasn’t making a decision anymore. I was just following an instruction. Way easier. When you’re stuck, count yourself down: three, two, one, go. Before your brain catches up and talks you out of it.
You can’t control the outcome. On the way back up I was flailing, trying to reposition myself, trying to make it smoother. Did nothing. Once you’re in it, the flailing and struggle to stay in control just makes you tired. Let go. It doesn’t matter what happens now, you are not in control. The decisions that mattered were made before you jumped.
Do it with people you love. My sister meeting me halfway up the path meant more than the jump itself. Do the hard thing with people who’ll actually be proud of you, not just impressed or entertained. People who get how hard it is. And if you don’t have those people yet, be that person for someone else first. It comes back.
I didn’t see the guy from the queue afterwards. He did end up jumping and I can guarantee he would have regretted not doing it.
But I keep thinking about how long he stood there. How hard his brain was working to protect him from a danger that wasn’t real. You can wait on the platform as long as you want. But, the longer you wait the more unnecessary worry and fear you hold on to.
You may as well take the jump.
You just need to get on the platform, count to three, and let yourself fall.